Up, Down & Strange: My Personal Journey Leading to Panik Project

Image: Pilipili Mulongoy 'Untitled' 1955

I first began exploring altered states of consciousness about five years ago - or perhaps I should say some unknown force started exploring me by overshadowing my usual waking state and rational mind... After doing a lot of research, reading, thinking and listening I began to realise that the state I was experiencing is one of the most misunderstood forms of consciousness. What I had once thought of as an isolated experience turned out to be a deep, ancient and powerful state, not only misunderstood but often feared by many. Over time, I came to appreciate its transformative potential and decided to dive deeply into the research and practice.

The concept of an altered state of consciousness refers to any shift in our normal waking state, altering perception, thought patterns or emotional experiences. These shifts can occur in many ways - through practices like meditation, hypnosis, sleep, extreme stress or plant medicine. This is when I began questioning the origins of my panic attacks - not just the attacks themselves but the underlying causes of the state I was in. At the time, I was grappling with intense feelings of anxiety and stress, which often triggered an overwhelming sense of alertness and dissociation leaving me feeling on edge, out of control and unable to grasp what was happening to me as it did not seem like my usual waking state.

Soon I discovered how much this heightened state of arousal is connected to the sympathetic nervous system. This part of the autonomic nervous system is responsible for our ‘fight or flight’ response. It pumps adrenaline into the body, increasing heart rate, breathing and blood flow to our muscles, preparing us for action. However, when this response is triggered too often or too intensely, it can lead to an imbalance, making it hard to regulate emotions, thoughts or behaviours. Before connecting the different experiences in my mind and starting making sense out of my experiences as someone who likes to be in control, I was terrified. I felt as though I had lost my grip on reality and this confusion led me to question not just the panic attacks and their origins but my psychological well-being.

This struggle was exacerbated by the fact that I was not consciously aware of entering these altered states. It is one thing to consciously engage with a trance-like state, such as through hypnosis or guided meditation. When you are aware of your shift in consciousness, it can be deeply therapeutic, even healing. But when you are not, it can feel disorienting and unsettling. It is easy to overlook the vulnerability this state brings, which depending on the environment, can be either incredibly nurturing or detrimental and the line between the two sometimes can be very thin.

As I delved deeper into understanding this experience, I began to see how ancient wisdom and practices had long been aware of these altered states, using them for healing, transformation and spiritual growth. Shamanic practices, for example, have utilised trance states for thousands of years, connecting with the spirit world and accessing hidden knowledge. Shamans would often use rhythmic drumming, chanting, or plant medicine to guide individuals into altered states of consciousness, allowing them to journey beyond ordinary reality to gain insights or healing. These practices recognise that the boundaries between the conscious and unconscious mind are fluid and that accessing deeper layers of consciousness can offer profound transformation if you can navigate them.

Similarly, hypnosis and guided meditation, though more modern approaches, share roots in these ancient traditions. In fact, many indigenous cultures practiced forms of guided trance work long before the concept of ‘hypnosis’ was formalised in the West. Hypnosis, like shamanic journeying, allows the conscious mind to step aside, enabling the subconscious to take the lead. This can unlock profound healing, facilitate personal growth or help overcome deep-rooted fears and trauma. Guided meditation, which often leads participants into a relaxed and focused state, can also help individuals access these altered states to promote healing, clarity, and insight. In all these practices, the key is understanding the state you are entering and knowing how to navigate it.

We experience altered states of consciousness in our everyday lives without even realising it. Think about the moments when you are so deeply immersed in a task that you lose track of time - whether you are reading, painting, cooking, or having a walk. In these moments, your mind enters a state of focus and absorption, temporarily disconnecting from the noise of the outside world. This is an altered state, though it is often subtle and not necessarily accompanied by dramatic emotional or physical shifts. Similarly, when we are lost in thought, daydreaming or engaged in creative flow, we are also experiencing subtle altered states of consciousness.

These states are a natural part of being human, yet many of us are not trained to recognise or navigate them for their benefit. For some, this lack of awareness can create a sense of instability or anxiety, as it did for me. The more I explored, the more I realised that I could not be the only person struggling with these experiences. However, the more I learned, the more it became clear that finding professional support or guidance on such matters was often difficult too. It’s not something your average GP would readily advise you on. This made the process of seeking help feel like an exhausting and uncertain journey…

So, I immersed myself in learning. I began reading books, attending workshops, and exploring various traditions and techniques that could offer deeper insight into altered states of consciousness and how to work with them safely and intentionally. As I learned, I came to realise that these altered states - whether they come from stress, meditation, or other practices - hold immense potential for healing, growth and self-discovery. They can be powerful tools when approached with knowledge and respect. And this journey ultimately gave birth to the idea of the Panik Project. The more I understood my own experiences, the more I realised there was a real need for others to have a space to explore these altered states - one that was rooted in ancient wisdom yet informed by modern psychological understanding. The Panik Project aims to bridge the gap between the spiritual traditions that have long recognised the power of altered states and the modern need for practical tools to navigate them. It is a project born from my own struggles and a desire to help others navigate their own journey through these powerful, often misunderstood, states of consciousness and tool we are already have available within us.

With a hope to make the education more accessible by combining ancient practices and knowledge with a modern scientific approach and offering some concepts I personally find interesting to be explored further collectively alongside 1:1 sesssions which can be booked at community@panikproject.com